I felt many times into this lifetime … that i am wasting my time.
Today … when i have this type of feeling … i understand that i am actually … wasting my life in here … on Earth.
I’ve started to have much better … clarity.
I understand reality …
I understand that i am not on the right path of life …. but even if all is so, so clear … i just continue … doing the same stupid things on and on and on.
I act as … an idiot.
I know … on a theoretical level … all is going on for real … but … i still continue staying on those pathless paths.
I know i am wasting my time … but i allow as this story to continue.
… which is probably … a nonsense.
Yes .. i allow as the nonsense … to dominate my life … even if today … i am not so idiot anymore … as i used to be.
But my question is … why the hell i do that?!
Well … maybe i am afraid of being bored again.
I don’t want a boring life.
I simple don’t want that.
I feel the need of certain elements into my life … and that involves indeed as my reality to be a little bit dominated by stupidity.
And is funny … cause i allow myself to act stupid … just to remain prisoner into that scene of life.
And i keep wasting my time.
Until?!
Well … who the hell knows … and in fact i stop asking myself … or if i do it … in fact … i just pretend i am doing it.
All i actually do … is to delay all.
… even if i know the truth that it’s all a waste of energy and time …. I allow to remain prisoner into that reality.
I am so afraid of being … bored … again.
psychological games in relationships
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